Grief and anxiety often show up hand in hand. One moment you’re grieving a loss, the next your chest is tight, your thoughts are racing, and you feel like the world is closing in. It’s not random. There are real mental and neurological reasons this happens, and when you understand them, you can take your power back.

When we lose someone (or something) meaningful, our brain goes into survival mode. Here’s what happens behind the scenes:

• Neurological wiring: The amygdala — the fear center of your brain — becomes hyperactive. It’s scanning for danger, even when none is there. Loss feels like a threat to safety and identity, so your nervous system treats it like an alarm.
   
• Uncertainty overload: Grief shakes up everything you thought was stable. The brain craves certainty, and when it’s gone, anxiety fills the gap.
   
• Chemical imbalance: Stress hormones like cortisol spike. Dopamine and serotonin (the “feel good” neurotransmitters) drop. This combination wires your body to feel restless, tense, and on edge.
   

Anxiety isn’t just in your head. It often lands in the body, especially when it’s triggered by grief. You may notice:

• Tight chest or shallow breathing.
   
• Stomach issues — nausea, diarrhea, or a constant “pit” feeling.
   
• Restlessness or shaking.
   
• Trouble sleeping or waking up at 3am with your mind racing.
   
• Headaches or muscle tension that won’t go away.
   

Your body is basically stuck in a fight-or-flight loop because it thinks you’re in danger, when really you’re in mourning.

Here’s the truth: waiting for grief and anxiety to “just pass” doesn’t work. You have to interrupt the pattern and rewire how your body and mind respond. Here’s how:

1. Change your state immediately.
   Motion changes emotion. When anxiety rises, get up and move. Jump, run, shake it out, take a cold shower — anything to shock your nervous system out of panic.
    
2. Shift your focus.
   Where focus goes, energy flows. If you keep focusing on loss, your brain stays in survival mode. Instead, ask: What can I do right now to feel love instead of fear? What’s one thing I can be grateful for in this exact moment?
    
3. Rewire the meaning.
   Anxiety is often your brain screaming: “I don’t know if I can handle this.” Instead of agreeing, change the neuro-association. Tell yourself: “This isn’t fear, it’s energy. My body is alive, my system is protecting me. I can use this to grow stronger.”
    
4. Practice deep physiological resets.
   Breathwork, meditation, and grounding exercises reset the vagus nerve and tell your nervous system: “I am safe.” This isn’t “woo-woo,” it’s biology.
    
5. Create rituals that anchor you.
   Humans thrive on ritual. Light a candle, journal, go for a walk at the same time every day. These consistent actions give your brain the certainty it craves when grief has shaken the ground beneath you.
    

Grief will naturally stir up anxiety because your nervous system is fighting to make sense of an unsafe world. But anxiety doesn’t have to control you. When you understand what’s happening mentally and neurologically — and you use tools to change your state, shift focus, and create new meaning — you stop being a passenger to grief and start becoming the driver of your healing.

You can’t control loss, but you can control how you respond to it. And that choice — moment by moment — is where your power lives.

Article: Toni Filipone